What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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