In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
