Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
