Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
