dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
