Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
