I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
