Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
