Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I understand Curling. That high.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
