just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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