I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
