This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
