I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
