Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
