I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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