I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
