You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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