dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
