I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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