I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
