Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
