clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
