Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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