Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
