i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
