yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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