You made me cry and you don't even care
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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