I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
