i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There r osticjed everywhere
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
