and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
