After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
