I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
