Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
