I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
