Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
