I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
