i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
