I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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