I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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