he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
