I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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