No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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