dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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