My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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