have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
