you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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