Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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