Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
