OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
