No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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