I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how can u be prego again
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
