ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
