Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
