Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You've changed since you got that strap on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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