Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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