i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
