Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
